According to the American Psychological Association, over 90 percent of adults in the United States get married by the time they reach 50 years of age. However, almost half of these couples file divorce for one or more reasons, including infidelity. When infidelity factors into your own decision to separate from your spouse, your children suffer emotionally from the fallout. In order to help your kids cope with the demise of your marriage, speak to a divorce lawyer about family counseling services. Until you do, here's one thing you may face with your kids and how to help them cope with it.
Why Do Your Kids Blame Themselves for the Divorce and Infidelity?
One of the problems associated with divorce is blame. Your cheating spouse may blame you for his or her infidelity as a way to avoid taking responsibility for his or her actions. You may even blame yourself for the infidelity and subsequent divorce.
However, your children may blame themselves for the marriage's fallout. Your kids may think it's their fault that the other parent hurt you in the first place. Maybe you spent too much time with them instead of with the other parent. Or, maybe they think that you ignored your spouse to care for them, and the other spouse felt neglected from the lack of attention.
It's important to alleviate your kids' feelings of blame now and not later, or it may affect their relationships with you, the other parent and other people in general. Kids of all ages, who learn or experience negative emotions during their parents' divorce, may continue the behavior throughout life.
How Can You Help Your Kids Stop Blaming Themselves for Your Divorce?
If your kids blame themselves for the fallout of your marriage, reassure them that it's not their fault. Additionally, you can offer support to your kids by:
- Talking to them about the divorce and explain that both parents love them equally
- Taking your kids on weekly outings to the local park, museum or movies to alleviate their negative feelings — if you can't afford to spend money on your outings, look for free activities or events instead
- Having a close family member, such as a grandparent or aunt, spend quality time with your kids — sometimes, kids need additional or outside support to help them get through a divorce
Speak to your divorce attorney about child and family counseling services. Your attorney may have numerous resources available to help your kids understand why the ending of your marriage isn't their fault or yours.
If you decide to use the attorney's resources for your kids, be sure to attend every counseling session assigned to you and them. Being consistent and proactive during this difficult time can help your family get back on track faster.
A divorce attorney offers you a way out of your unfaithful marriage, as well as helpful family services for your kids. It's up to you to call the lawyer and make an appointment. Contact a firm like Winstein, Kavensky & Cunningham, LLC. for more information.
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